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107

by Matt Kurtz

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1.
Back Again 03:42
I’m a just a cold fool, a red handed man On a sick day for the lonely, I decorate your fence But tear down this display now, cuz' I’m alone in the dark Like the dogs I wait here to be where you are Lord I want to go back again, said I wanna go back again To the days when she was enough Lord I’m not even half the man, said I'm not even half the man That had raised her up I’m just a sad soul looking for a sign Staring at the window where I hung the blinds Fear takes me over when I can’t bear Desire’s the deceiver that leaves me in despair Lord I want to go back again, said I wanna go back again To the days when she was enough Lord I’m not even half the man, said I'm not even half the man, That raised her up into the forms that she'd become Lord why could I not just stay in days when we were enough?
2.
New York 03:23
The sky is turning grey And ma don’t wanna stay The kids reflect the light off the ocean towards the bay Leave the kin for the kindred Leave our name down the line Blood runs through the borders And we’re taken by the tide Don’t you know... I would drive to New York if I could My tires ain’t no good So I’ll drive round the neighborhood Kids running through the streets Everyone I meet gives directions But they’re lost like me There’s a lady for my love And she takes away the pain It's dark outside the shelter But you can't hide from the shame Everything’s uncertain when you're happy standing still My shadow shares distain There’s no freedom in freewill Don't you know... I would drive to New York if I could My tires ain’t no good So I’ll drive 'round the neighborhood Kids running through the streets Everyone I meet gives directions But they’re lost like me
3.
We broke the beam Earth on our back and we breathed Over seven years you carved into me Now it’s hard to believe But I’ll carry you in my memory
4.
Solar eclipse touching your lips I wanna to cover up your memory of his 80% and it's not dawn yet Someday I'm hoping that we will learn to forget Circle the sun with silver under my thumb I bought it after treating you dumb You waited so long A remedy became a symptom I thought it'd all turn out alright And maybe we could try to try But it doesn’t mean a thing It’s just light that’s been darkening You took a trip with your mom You’re here and you're gone The closer I get the more we fall apart Are you with them now when you visit that town? I think about you and it brings me down Celebrities of Canton, it’s all just pretend I use to be so proud Now I don't wannna hear our names out loud I thought it'd all turn out alright And maybe we could try to try But it doesn't mean a thing We're just circles and we're circling We're circles and we're circling
5.
6.
Magnolia 03:39
Can’t stop staring at your post Figure near looking like a ghost I’m here but nobody knows I don’t want to get stuck in photos Magnolia showing in the sun Thought you wanted me to hold on Thought we could prove to everyone The thoughts all stop cuz’ you’re done Be still, be still, be still I still want to change you how feel Be still, be still, be still I still wanna change now for real This cul-de-sak's got me looking back on Akron Where the old smokestacks, they look like the pillars of Samson You can cut my hair if you think it makes me handsome Just don’t get with him, how can I put you in my plans then? Wish I’d been able to commit Wish you were more able to admit Wish we didn't have to break to begin Knowing all the ways we fit in
7.
1:07 01:14
Can I borrow joy? I see it in my friends When they speak into a soul and now it is Now she lives with her eyes like his Can I borrow love? Even if it ends Like the letter that you wrote but never sent I wonder what it said Did you wanna mend? Cuz' I wanna mend Of all the things I never said that's what I meant Seems like so much of what we are we keep held in Matt, it's time to mend I think it's time to mend It's 1:07
8.
As I Am 01:07
9.
Quail Hollow 04:07
We chased the deer till the woods took her sound I walk the girls around the backyard Grandma stared at the clouds through the pain Nothing feels right but to be wrong You decide not to choose Turns out, you’re choosing all along just to be Dying for some selfish sense of clarity I’ll give you my soul If you can save the sincerity I've been too young to make up my mind Too old to know why I was trying Now I’m too far along the 2-track to record on this side Another song I never thought I would write Oh, my my... So I’ll follow my failures like cracks on the sidewalk Cemented by the breakups and the last time that you talked to me While time takes on our innocence through the the air of separation After each unknown kiss that we keep But tell me how does one carry the change? I spent the twenties of my life on you sharing my name I've been too young to make up my mind Too old to know why I was trying Now I’m too far along the 2-track to record on this side Another song I never thought I would write Oh my, my... Just as I am though tossed about with many conflicts, many doubts Fighting and fears within, without Oh lamb of God I come, I come
10.

about

When I draw a circle I have to stop and reset my hand so I can make it back to the original mark. These songs are the splotches of rested ink along the line of a loop.

credits

released October 7, 2020

Thanks to Jennifer Howell, John King and Josee McGee for singing with me. Thanks to Steven 'Tebbs' Karney for sliding my soul with your steel guitar and special thanks to Joey Kurtz and John Finley for all the friendship and parts you recorded throughout this experience. Anything that sounds complicated to play is probably one of them. I did what remains.

-Matt

Recorded and mixed by Matt Kurtz
Mastered by John Finley
Photography/Art by Jen Howell and Matt Kurtz

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Matt Kurtz Akron, Ohio

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